wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
