You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
