dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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