I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
