OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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