im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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