: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
