Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
