How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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