I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
