he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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