how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
