i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
