Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
