Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Someone signed my nipple.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
