Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
