but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
