Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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