Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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