I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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