I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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