I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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