just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Randomize
