I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
50% drunk capacity currently
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
