She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
