you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
