I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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