I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
