She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
