Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
