He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The feeling are messing with the penis
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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