He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
