Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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