from now on my penis is your penis
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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