I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
