Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
