i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
