So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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