did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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