i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
