This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
