That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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