You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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