I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
