Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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