how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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