You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
