You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
