should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
