my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
