Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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