Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
