just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
