goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
